Friday, February 12, 2010

Life in the Fast Lane.

I guess many people would call normal life the fast lane. However I still feel as though I am in the middle lane even though I work everyday and do all the same things I am sure many other people do. Sometimes I think slowing down is a frame of mind. Can you slow down your mind enough in order to enjoy life, the people you share it with and then fun things you get to do (I get to do fun things in my job as a teacher)? So I have been living normal life so far I guess. Mortgage, job, renos...but yet somehow life is NEVER normal!! I am married to Nolan so that is certainly one huge reason that my life is often diverted from normal, but there's more. God is so far removed from normal. He's a mystery and he's in my life so there is no normal, there is always discovery and then more mystery. Who is this God that loves me? I don't understand him. how can we? He is eternal and I can't even wrap my mind around that concept!! EEEeeeeek! The idea of forever is foreign to me and then add the fact that God always was and always will be blows a fuse in my brain. Anyhow...my heart loves him, my spirit adores him and my soul is often at odds with him but submits to some growing degree to him. Submit is such a weird concept. It carries so many negative connotations with it and people often bristle at the idea of it. I certainly did when I was younger, but when you are confronted with unsurpassed love, it becomes a question of how can I NOT submit. When someone loves you SO fully and want only your best and they say " Go do this" I can trust that person because they love me. I know that humans betray our love and our trust, but God never does so his love is always present and he is always trustworthy.

Wow this entry is so random. to continue on in randomness...I am taking a yoga class. It's good, but my knee is bugging me. I also started reading Jesus in the Lotus and so far it is weird. That's all I have to say.