The end is coming

The end is always coming, that is simply the way that time works. Life begins and it ends. A day begins and it ends. L'École Français begins and it will end. At the beginning when the first few days felt incredibly long due the the absolutely massive amounts of new information (that's immersion for you!), my brain was tired, my body was tired and I thought the end would never come. As time went by, the days began to pass more quickly due to the fact that my working knowledge of french improved and I didn`t feel quite as overwhelmed at I had the first few days. From this moment, I look forward and the end seems to be a bit too close and time passing a bit too quickly for my liking. I have learning a lot and am so happy to be here right now and wish my french was better (but we did speak a lot of english when no one was listening {by no one I mean the instructors} and so it didn`t feel like a total, total immersion, just a "mostly" immersion). Anyhow...I only have 4 or 5 days left of classes (that includes the classes that I am simply sitting and writing my exams in). Well as they say, "Time flies when you`re having fun!"

This weekend we are heading to Québec city. I am excited to go and check things out again. I have heard some excited whispers that I hope amount to more than wishful thinking, that Circe du Soleil is performing for free somewhere in Québec city. If this is indeed the truth, we must track it down!

Oh...so what else is new...I got my midterm marks back and passed with some pretty flying colours!! I am a happy camper!

I am really, vraiment, vraiment looking forward to driving around the Martimes with Kim, mais elle pense que elle ne peut pas parce que elle n'ai pas l'argent maintenant. hmmmm. I just cancelled my flights last night and jeepers, this would just through a wrench in my plans (I learned the french equivalent for this saying yesterday but I forget. Something like, jamming a stick in someone's wheel{like a bike wheel and sending them flying}). Anyhow...

I haven`t made myself laugh really really hard lately because I haven`t said anything so incrediblly silly or walked into the wrong bathroom or anything. Jamie a guy in my class makes me laugh all the time though. He has sense of humour and a funny laugh that makes me laugh at silly things. For example...we had to make up an invention the other day and create an advertisement for it, which used imperatives. We invented the Bandeau de téléphone. It was great!! Jamie was our cheesy salesman. He side slicked his hair and cut out a tie from construction paper and stapled it to his shirt for our presentation. How can you not laugh at that! Anyhow...

Like I said before...the end is coming. BUT...I want to keep learning and practicing french.

Sherry in English now...

I have no idea how that happened, but somehow my blog ended up being translated into Hindi which was an option on here I couldn`t figure out how to change it back into english so...here is somewhat of a shorter version of what I said in the last post. I said...I am that person. The one who is learning english and doesn`t yet know how to speak in correct tenses and says things like, " I am went to the store (using the word that means a grocery store) tomorrow to bought a shoe me for". Yep..I am Manon (the incredible french woman I am living with) finds me really, really , really funny with all the mistakes I make when I open my mouth to speak french. I called her yesterday from Quebec city because we were going to be late coming home and I was elected to phone home and speak french. Yep...I am sure the conversation went something like this:

M: Bonjour!
S: Bonjour Manon, cèst Sherry
M: Oui, allo Sherry!!
S: Nous avons en tard (We are late)
M: (silent pause)
S: uhm...Nous avons dan Quebec maintenant (we are in Quebec right now)
M: ...she finishes the sentence for me, gettingmy drift that we are gonig to be late...
S: Maintenant cèst 4:30 et...
Manon finishes the sentence again...laughing. ok.

So...I laugh. And the other day I tried to tell her that she is welcome in Calgary anytime and instead I told her she is welcome in Calgay sometimes...like maybe only on sundays!?! we laughed so hard once eveyone at the dinner table let me figure out what I had actually said and everyone knew what I meant to say and we laughed and laughed and laughed until our tummies hurt and we coudln`t breathe. And then we laughed some more until I almost peed my pants! Oh it was great.

Yesterday was Manon`s b-day!! It was great to spend the evening with her, but I wish we had spent the day with her and planned fun things and decorated the house and had gone all out for her. Last night she told us how important it was to her that we were there with her. Her and her significant other broke it off last summer (I think he was cheating) and holidays etc. being alone has been hard for her and she cried a number of times, touched by our words and actions.

Last night we all sat in the hot tub and we sang songs together (french and english) and told Manon what an amazing woman we think she is. She is such a doll. I wish I had a better vocabulary in french so I could really tell her how much I like her and appreciate her.

Anyhow...I have a test this week...2 actually, midterms, one oral one written...oooohhhh! I am nervous! But my instructor is a sweetheart so no reason to be nervous and I am not doing this french school for credit, but for myself so what does it matter!?

AND...I might be able to travel after the school is over!! MIGHT. My friend Kim has a car here and wants to visit the Maritimes and needs to return to Alberta after for work so...perhaps a bit of a tour and then a drive home!!?? Who knows. WE`ll see what happens.

ई ऍम ठाट परसों...यू क्नोव थे वन...

ओकय रंदोम...एवेर्य्थिंग ई टाईप इस चंगिंग इन्तो अ दिफ्फेरेंत लंगुअगे ओं थे स्क्रीन राईट बेफोरे मय एयेस ऎंड ई डॉन`त क्नोव वहत लंगुअगे इत इस...इत लूकस लिके सोम इंडियन लंगुअगे पेर्हप्स?? ई ऍम नॉट सुर इफ मय ब्लोग विल कॉम आउट इन इंग्लिश ओर सोमेथिंग फॉरेन तो उस अल। होऊ बॉय! वी`रे इन फ़ॉर अ सुर्प्रिसे पुएत इतर। ई वास जुस्त गोइंग तो सय ठाट ई ऍम थे परसों ठाट वी हवे अल लेंकोउत्नेरेड इन कनाडा व्हो इस लीर्निंग इंग्लिश। थे वन व्हो डेसं`त येत हवे अल ओफ्ठे तेंसेस कोर्रेच्त ऎंड सय्स थिंग्स लिके, "ई ऍम वेंत तो थे स्टोर (उसिंग थे वर्ड ठाट मांस अ ग्रोसर्य स्टोर) येस्तेर्दय फ़ॉर तो बौघ्त शोए मे फ़ॉर"... ओर सोमेतिंग लिके ठाट!! ई हवे सैद सोम प्रेत्त्य फुन्न्य थीं जस ई ऍम प्रेत्त्य दर्नेद सुर। ई वास त्र्यिंग तो तेल मय फ्रेंच "मॉम" व्हो इस अ ३७ येअर ओल्ड होत, चिक, कूल वूमन, ठाट शे इस वेल्कोमे तो कॉम तो काल्गार्य अन्य्तिमे!! वहत ई इंदेद उप सयिंग वास ठाट शे इस वेल्कोमे सोमेतिमेस। नॉट अन्य्तिमे...जुस्त सोमेतिमेस...लिके पेर्हप्स ओनली ओं सुन्दय्स। अन्य्होव...वी अल लौघेद उन्तिल वी कोउल्दं`त ब्रेअठे ऎंड थें सोम मोरे। मोरे लिके उन्तिल ई अल्मोस्त पेड मय पंट्स। सो फुन्न्य। बुत....नेच्सस्सितो!!! अन्य्होव...ई`म आउट लिके त्रौत। लेटर स्कतेर्स.

le mauvais salle de bain

Today I went into the wrong bathroom. It was soooooo drôle!!! I didn`t notice when I went in that it was the mens' room because I immediately turned towards the stalls and the urinals went entirely unnoticed. Of course when I exited the stall, I noticed the urinals and started to laugh like crazy!! Thankfully there were no guys at any of the urinals when I came out, otherwise that would have been awkward and embarrassing. On my way out the the bathroom, one of the other students was on his way in and he looked surprised for just one small moment and then he started to laugh as well. I walked all the way back to my classroom laughing at myself.

I have been laughing at myself a lot! A lot, a lot. What can you do when you say the wrong thing in french because you inserted one wrong word that changed the entire meaning of your phrase?? Laugh until your stomach hurts, let others laugh with and at you and then once you've calmed down start laughing again until you almost pee your pants and can`t breathe. Yep...true story. I love laughing and I have been laughing tons here and I am sure it has kept me from losing my mind. If I was unable to laugh at myself, I would indeed be incredibly frustated and probably grumpy. By the way, I saw a t-shirt yesterday that had Oscar the grouch on it that said "grouchy guys are cool" and I wanted to buy it, but then I thought I don`t need to buy a t-shirt that will justify grumpiness, I just need to get over it when I am grumpy, change my attitude and persepctive. Anyhow...I should go and eat my lunch and be sociable and talk poor french with other peeps who know more than me.

à bientôt!

Vive la Québéc!!

I love it here, I love learning french, I have fabulous roomies and a more than fabulous house to live in with an extremely welcoming, bubbly, fun-loving lady who is crazy and laughs a lot (sometimes at my french and definintely at how visible it is that the wheels in my head are contantly turning trying to figure how to say something in french). Acutally she thinks I am a perfectionist and on the last day here all of a sudden I will blurt out a full commentary en francais! Anyhow...it`s so great and I am so thankful to be here and wow...if only I had more time right now to talk about it!! I have to go but tomorrow perhaps I will post more so you peeps have a better idea of my life in french.

The middle of no where (May 11th more)

I booked the rest of my trip tonight...trains and planes to and fro. The think with booking travel stuff in and out of Riviere du Loup is that because it is in the middle of no where, it has no priority on transit arrival and departure times. So...I leave Montreal at 6:30pm and arrive in RdL at 12:08 in the morning. Yep. There will be a bus waiting to pick students up which is nice.

I booked my train ride out of Rdl as well and it leaves at 2:15 am on june 15th and arrive in Montreal at 8:30, in time for me to get to the airport for my flight to Toronto. Then on the 18th home again, home again jiggety jig and Nolan and Pam and friends and my bed. amen to that!

Fatigue and Plane rides

May 11th....

This is the beginning of my journey to learn french! yesterday it was semi-real and today reality has set in. This morning and during the flight, i was far too tired to care if it was real. Now here I am in the Montreal aerogare at Tim Horton's drinking une moyen ice cap and waiting for Stephanie. I badly wanted to know how to order in french..une moyen ice cap was my guess et un salade aux oeufs aussi. hmmm. that's my guess could be right could be wrong.

i have many feelings couring through me and a myriad of thoughts. Both my thoughts and feelings are floating around a loose theme of fear and anxiety.

I feel isolated and a bit lonely already, but God you know where I am here and you are with me. I am never alone, you do not leave me or forsake me. thank you for making this trip possible for me. You knew my desire to learn french and the affection that I have for Quebec. I ask for your favour here as an english speaker. I ask to be received with kindness and your favour.

I am anxious about figuring out the train to Riviere du Loup. You Lord order my steps, prepare my way and mark my path. direct me, guide me and reveal to me the details i need.

I am fearful that learning french won't stick or i won't get the idea-the way the language works. Father please teach me yourself. You created the languages and they are yours to give. your Holy Spirit is my teacher-work in my mind and my spirit to teach me french.

Father I am looking forward to the next number of weeksnot only tolearn french, but in my isolation from those who know me and with the difficulties of communication that are up and coming, i can speak to you and you can speak to me. My desire is to DELIGHT MYSELF IN YOu!!

I don't really know how to do this, but I want to know. I want to behold your face and dwell in your house.

Father give me dreams and visions and tongues in French. Please.

Lord soften my heart again please. thank you again for loving me, for calling me Beloved. Please continue teaching me of your love.

Sigh...

That was a tired sigh. Sometimes you have a sigh and it's a really good one; it signifies contentment. My sigh today is one of fatigue and frustration.

I accidentally created a username and password on a Simply Accounting file that I need to access. I was exploring as I was trying to problem solve after sending the file to an accountant for some help (my mom). She couldn't open the file because it had a password. Funny, I never gave the file a password. While we attempted to trouble shoot, I looked at how creating a password worked and I guess in the process actually created one. I thought I had gone through the motions but didn't actually go through with it. Bummer. Now I have no idea what the username and password are so...can't access the file and can't work on it, which stresses me out. I don't like being stressed out, especially when I am also tired and sick. Why do those 3 things often come hand in hand?

So I sigh and want to take a nap, but the priority of getting this work done by Thursday night is HIGH and so I must press on.

Jesus please help me.

Wouldn't You like to Know

Sometimes I would like to know too.

well...today is a new day and I figured out some more of the technological little things about Blogger that are important. So the not so secret secret lives on in cyberspace. Yes...wouldn't you like to know?!? Maybe you do (nolan) and that's okay and if you don't...well that's okay too and you won't get any more out of me.

aaahhhh. Life is good, even when you accidentally stay up way too late.

How many times?

I read a novel this week called When Heaven Weeps. It made me cry a number of times and reminded me of another novel that I have read many times and it too made me cry. The theme of both books was about the love of God for us: his Bride. Unfortunately, although we are his bride I think we fail to understand how he loves us. At times I am unsure that we even comprehend that he loves us at all, despite how he has displayed his affections for us. Somehow in the middle of enjoying the fruits of his love, I think we often take his love forgranted and eventually the fruits are no longer attached to his love and somehow, we forget he loves us!! How insane is that?

I live in an amazing house, I have amazing friends he has given to me, I was born to incredible parents who are gifts from the Lord, I have so much and it is all from the Lord and sometimes I actually believe that these things are because of me. I have great friends because I am something! I got into school because I am really smart. I live well because I am good with money. NO, no, no. I have these things because of his love for me; these are the provisions from his hands because he loves me. He does not give me a rock when I ask for bread; he loves me.

On Monday night God reminded me of his love. It wasn't just a matter of memory or recall, but it was an experience of his love and it was him answering a prayer that I had prayed a couple of months ago. God's instrument of choice in this experience...Nolan. Actually, God has repeatedly used Nolan for revealing his love, but in this case it was very poignant, hit the target and I was overwhelmed to the point of tears. Love was suddenly a reality, not just words or something akin to head knowledge, but it was real; tangible, felt, palpable. I wondered why it takes so long to understand and why God has to say it and display his love so many times before I actually hear it AND believe it. It became real again...his love for me; his tender, passionate, desirous love for me.

It's overwhelming. How can we comprehend love?

The Old Password/Username Dilemna

I haven't posted anything here for a coon's age. It was many many moons ago that I last graced this blog. Why am I back now? I am not sure. For fun.

I was entertaining the notion of deleting this blog, but I haven't yet made a firm decision on that yet. Instead I will write a bit more just for fun. I think after the effort it took to try and get to this blog again warrants that I write for a bit longer before it disappears into the cyber-blackhole. I had a heck of a time trying to remember my username and my password to get into this blog. I went through the ol' trusty names and words that are old hat to me but alas, they did me no service. It was quite frustrating, but after many attempts here I am victorious and triumphant!!

So...here I am over a year later and that's pretty much all there is to it. Life has gone on and I am NOT going to try to write it all in a nutshell because it would be one heck of a nutshell and I think I would go crazy trying to write it all down. Instead, I will just say that life is good. I am almost finished my school year (B.Ed, 1st year), I am going to study french, I live in a big house with lots of friends (community living), I am myself again and I can't wait for summer. Oh and I am a rock climber not too; still a hack on the rocks, but I can hold my own.

I am looking forward to: going to my parents in the summer and hanging out at the beach; wearing summer clothes and getting a tan; driving around with my sunroof open and listening to loud music and singing along (and seat dancing); maybe playing soccer again and getting my lazy ass back in shape; reading some good books by myself and maybe with friends in the park; learning how to play the guitar (learning how to be disciplined enough to practice so I will actually progress); discovering what God has to say to me about my life, life in general and himself. Of course I am looking forward to many more things, but that's a start.

Okay bye.

My Mom...and other things

I just dropped my mom off this morning at the airport to fly back to the Westcoast after a 5 day visit. It's funny how when we spend so much time together we get a bit tetchy, but the second she'd gone through the doors into security at the airport, tears sprung into my eyes and I didn't want to let her go. I love my mom so much. It makes me so sad to know how unhealthy her heart and her lungs are. The air here in Calgary is so dry and it was pretty chilly when she first arrived and trying to breath she had tears in her eyes and I was scared that I would have to take her to the hospital. I am so thankful that for the 5 days that she was here the weather was uncharacteristically warm, otherwise it would have been quite difficult for her to be here.

I am quite disappointed with myself as I look back on the 5 days my mom was here. I cherish my mom, but I am not sure that she would know it by how I behaved. When my mom was slow (she needs to walk slowly as not to tax her heart and lungs or breathing becomes difficult), I would be annoyed. When she coughed or needed to smoke (she's quitting and is smoking 1/3 of what she used to. It's very hard, she began smoking when she was 13 and nicotine is more addictive than cocaine, don't judge her), I was short and abrupt and sometimes downright rude. I think this has been my coping method for years and years. My worst nightmare has been that my mom would die young due to smoking and all the complications it brings, and then when I needed her most she wouldn't be here to love me and to be loved. Who would help me get ready for my wedding (someday), and tell me all the little things I need to know about being a mom?? It scares the shit out of me to think that she might not be around for my whole life. So when I get all annoyed at her habit that has stolen so much LIFE from her is pisses me off more than I can express and it hides all the fear. If I didn't get annoyed and angry, I would cry all the time and be filled with worry. BUT...the thing is...my annoyance and anger is with the HABIT not her, but I am afraid that it seems like I am annoyed and angry with her. Mom I am not angry with you.

Lord, as I write this I am filled with fear and I need to know that you have my mom in the palm of your hand and that you will protect her and keep her. Dear Jesus please, will you heal her? I beg you Jesus to restore life to her. And please help me not to be scared, but to trust in you so deeply that all my fear is swallowed up by your love so I no longer will any fear that I need to hide by anger and annoyance and can just love my mom.

Lost and not Found

Well I had an incredibly deep post all typed out that bared my heart and soul for all the www to see and hit some obscure button and lost it. Now all you get is this. The typing was cathartic and now have no need to write it all out again. That or it still freaks me out to type stuff like that for people to actually see. You'll never know now!! Cheers.

Gallavanting and Homecomings

I left this fine conitinent that I live on and went to another. I left a couple of weeks ago for Germany and England, to go to some meetings and a conference and see some friends. It was good. That's really all I have to say about it. I met some really fantastic people and saw some neat places, but am I so incredibly happy to be home.

You know the saying, "Home is where the heart is"? Well I think it's true. My heart was in Germany and the UK for a bit, and I remember when it was in Portugal and Spain. Near the end of my trip, my heart was at home and I wasn't there, so I was left longing for home. When I say home I don't necessarily mean home the geograpic location, (but that is part of it), I mean the people you love and connect with...they are what makes up home for me. As an example, I consider myself to have 2 homes. Where I grew up is where all of my family and old friends lives and that's what I call "home home". Calgary, where I live now is "home" and here lives my newer friends and the girls that I've adopted as sisters. The last time I travelled, I was with two of my adopted sisters and so home was partly wherever we happened to be at the time. I did miss the rest of home, but I could handle being away from it for longer because of the part of home that was with me. Are you following my drift here?

Anyways...I was extremely excited the day I was to catch my plane and come home. Of course as Murphy's Law exists and comes alive during just such a time, it would have me miss my flight home so I had to endure another 24 hours apart from my beloved home. Yes, I missed my flight and I did in fact feel like I was in a movie and it wasn't really happening to me. It turned out that is was real life however, and I found myself facing many long hours in which to occupy myself until my replacement flight took my home. Well at least it took me close to home. It took me to Edmonton then I had a 3 hour drive until I hit home. I would have hated to be the guy in the movie, "The Terminal". I found that airports are incredibly noisy in the wee hours of the morn when you'd think it might be a tad peaceful. I would have gone and slept in the chapel if they would have let me, but they said they didn't encourage it and apparently a nice officer strolled through periodically through the night. Well thank goodness for comfy Starbucks chairs. All you have to do is push two of them together and voila!...you have a makeshift bed.

I thought periodically throughout my unexpected extra day in England, "I'm too old for this shit." Meaning I should just fork over the money and get a hotel, but instead I resorted to flawed logic. If I just stayed in the airport for the night, not only could I be sure that I wouldn't miss another plane, I would be sooo stinkin' tired that I would be able to sleep on the plane ride home. I had tried taking gravol to sleep on the way to England but it had no effect. And if staying up for a bazillion hours didn't work, I could still try gravol again and if that didn't work, there was always the nice little bottle of alcohol that I bought.

I didn't sleep one lick of sleep. I tried all of the above and I have come to the conclusion that my body simply rejects airplane sleep. Next time I am going to take whatever cold medication my friend Daniel took when he conked out in his bathroom while shaving only to wake up later asleep on his bathroom floor and the batteries in his shaver were dead. Give me some of that!!

So HOME!!! I am home and I am loving it!! It has been snaining (snowing/raining) today and I don't even care!! I am just absolutely delighted to be home. Thank you God for getting me home.

Cheeky Weather

I am of two minds today. Actually that's true of most days, but today I am of two minds in regard to the weather. A part of me (the one that grew up on the West coast), is really happy to see it raining. I love the smell of the earth when it is rained on. The other part of me loathes the idea of summer ending and winter coming. I think I was made for warmer climates. There is also a part of me that looks forward to blizzardy days that leave behind a snow-blanketed world that seems to be covered in mystery and silence. I think it's the romantic part of me that likes this because I imagine walking hand-in-hand with someone and then sitting by a nice warm fire cuddling. Actually the romantic part of me likes something about every season because they each hold images of romance.

So it's still raining and instinctively I want to do something warm and cozy and be lazy. Could someone install a hot tub in my back yard please? Or a fireplace in my house? Pretty please?

Many moons

It has been many moons since I last wrote here. I have not been inspired to write of late. That's a lie; I have been inspired, but I have not been willing to write because the things in my mind seemed too personal to expose to the world wide web and my friends that read this spot. I am still hesitant to write, but nonetheless find myself here to add another entry.

Life is beautiful. Life is confusing. Sometimes life is ugly. I mostly live in a life that is beautiful. Right now I feel like I am in the beautiful camp and the confusing camp. We are complex people, with insanely instricate minds and personalities and it's no wonder that life can sometimes be confusing. You put us together with other people and our intricacies overlap creating something of beauty, wonder and things we cannot wrap our minds around, but look at in awe and intense curiousity. Things that make you go hmmmmm.

What does my future hold? Does it have you in it?

My Mistake

So I had the lyrics to the one line that I thought I remembered, wrong. Funnily enough though, they were close enough that a friend recognized it(despite my BAD, BAD rendition of faking my way through the line and humming some of the tune[except it was off tune]). Thank the good Lord for friends who know lots of songs!! So I am a happy camper for now until the next song comes along to drive me nuts!!

Okay new topic...so I found out today that the Queen was in town. I don't really know what she was doing here and what all the hubbub was about but hey...she's the queen. Honestly, with no offence meant to my fine British friends, I don't really have any sort of affinity for the queen or any of the royal family for that matter. As a Canadian I feel the queen and family are far too removed from the reality of who we are here. On the other hand I recognize the HUGE influence they've had on the shaping of the Canadian government. I can't dismiss that, but in my day to day life, I can't say that I can identify in any way, shape or form with the Royal family or the roles they play in this world. I also must claim ignorance because honestly, I don't really know what they do besides look pretty, wave nicely and smatter the press occassionally. If any of my British friends feels inclined to educate me, please do.

Next on my list of things to chat about...I wish I knew what I am doing...become a mailperson ( I still like to say mailman...sorry if that offends anyone since it's not a gender equal title), become a reading teacher, go back to school and get a masters in Ed., keep on keeping on...become a superhero with the fantastic power of being able transport people to the exact spot where they would like to fall asleep. Just in case you're curious, this wish for such an odd power comes from my experience as a little kid who still had the WHOLE drive home before she could fall asleep even though she was VERY tired and wanted to sleep now and always wished she could be like Dorothy in the Wizard of OZ and click her heels and say, "There's no place like bed!". Speaking of bed...

One last thing...Has anyone read Neuromancer?

Crazy Like That

The title really has nothing to do with me coming back online and blogging again. The title is lyrics in a song I am looking for but cannot find. I hate when that happens and it seems to be a fairly consistent occurence in my life. I VERY often don't remember the title or artist of a song and so finding a song when you don't know the pertinent information can prove to be difficult. I can probably sing part of the song, but that doesn't mean anyone else will recognize what comes out of my mouth, because what comes from my mouth never sounds quite like the song playing in my head. This at times has proven to be a mild embarrassment, especially when looking to others for assistance in song finding. Oh well...I can laugh at myself.

On to other things on the mind. I went out for a friend's B-day last night and we went dancing. If you know me well, you know that I LOVE to dance! I don't claim to be a stellar dancer, but I can hold my own. On with the story...we went to Tequila's Nightclub to celebrate. I must say that it was skanky. I know my scale of skankiness may be different from other people's but hey...I'm writing this blog, so we'll go with my scale. It seemed the crowd was younger than other places I have danced at. It seemed just more...skankier as well. I had fun don't get me wrong. I like to dance, what more can I say. Give me a chance to dance and automatically I will have fun! I was praying lots while dancing because watching the people around me was a "Crazy like that". Every now and then a song came on with great lyrics that I could sing to God as a prayer and that was terrific. I just needed to dance and pray. I think I need to dance and pray more because places like Tequila needs it, aint no question about that. On that note...if anyone knows the song that the title lyrics belong to let me know...I think it's a Destiny's Child song.

Cravings and Addictions

I am 8 days into my Detox diet for cleansing and once again have re-discovered that I am a carbohydrate junkie. I have seen some progress since my last detox, but still, I have not overcome my addiction to carbs.

The last time I cleansed or detoxed or tortured myself, as I like to call it, was about a year ago and my first day was rough. I had some serious carb cravings to the point where I was thinking, "Just give me some damn chips or fries!". I was having a grumpy day as a result of dealing with my withdrawal symptoms. As soon as I got home that day I fried a potato to a crisp and that was that, but it wasn't bread and cereal.

This time around, I am doing much better. I still have cravings, but they are muted. I pray that the other more insidious cravings and addictions in my life will be muted and eventually just go away. Namely the things that feed pride, the addiction I have to myself. Sherry, get outta the way! More of Jesus and less of me. That's all folks.

Detoxifying

I have just started the Wild Rose Detox program. I must admit that it is with some reluctance that I submit myself to such things as this. I have to abstain from eating so many things that I love! It is distinctively painful to be in my own home and have my roomie bake a chocolate cake, which smells absolutely divine, and know that I am unable to enjoys it's pleasures. It doesn't help that we have random goodies floating around the house as well.

For dinner tonight we enjoyed a black bean and rice casserole. It's an odd recipe. It has eggs and rice and black beans and tomato sauce...it IS tasty though. It looks funny, but tastes good.

I noted today with disdain, that my sense of smell becomes heightened while I detox. Paul opened a bag of corn chips and I could smell them like I have never smelled anything before. It was an intense smell that caused my stomach to growl and once the bag was finished the smell lingered to torment me.

You gotta love detoxes. It takes discipline, which I am not the best at, but am obviously working on. That would be another blog entirely of it's own, which I might just write up tomorrow since it is supposed to blizzard most of the night, and I think I may spend most of the day at home rather than risk frostbite or a car accident.

Well, I meant to be in bed an hour ago, so off I go!